IN THE MATTER OF: DFB Keyboard Warriors vs. The Magic Community

Public Service Announcement: Copying & pasting directly from our DDC newsletters, posting it in Facebook groups, and then lying about the source? That’s next-level fuckery. A lot of our DDC members are in those same groups — we received multiple screenshots. We want you to share the info we put out. That's why we share it. Just have the decency to throw a little credit our way. Even if you think we’re trash, at least say: "Yeah, I got this from the DDC. They’re assholes and pieces of shit, but hey, this is worth knowing." That’s all we ask. 😘

ORDER OF THE DDC FOLLOWING THE 14TH INTERNATIONAL BCAC

Upon review of the claims presented by the DFB keyboard warriors, the Distinguished Decision Committee (DDC) of the DDC, also known as the Dirty Deck Club, convened during the 14th International Baseless Claims Adjudication Conference (BCAC), also referred to as the Baseless Award Ceremony. After short deliberation, the DDC has reached the following conclusions:

1. On the Claim of Impropriety:
   The assertion that the DFB should never be used in conjunction with a list of playing cards has been unanimously deemed a baseless claim.
   
2. On the Existence of Superior Methods:
   The DDC acknowledges the existence of more effective and efficient options to force a playing card. This fact is not in dispute and has been duly noted.
   
3. On the Matter of Layperson Perception:
   After careful consideration of all relevant factors, the DDC has determined that the nourishment provided by your respective mothers' milk appears to have been insufficient to fill you with the intellectual capacity to grasp a fundamental truth: laypersons do not care how they came to think of a playing card. The magnitude of their indifference renders your critiques irrelevant.
   
4. On the Use of Superior Options in Question:
   The DDC further observes that the theoretical superiority of your preferred methods, presumably conceived in the confines of your mother’s basement, is of no practical consequence. The relevance of these options is commensurate with that of the keyboard you are using to type your grievances: negligible within the broader magic community.
   
5. Historical Precedent:
   The DDC takes judicial notice of the video posted by Rodd Hogg to the DFB forum approximately half a decade ago, which provides additional support to the conclusion reached herein. The card was selected with DFB.

FINAL ORDER:
Based on the foregoing, the DDC hereby affirms the final decision of the BCAC. Your claims are dismissed in their entirety, and no further appeals will be entertained.

So ordered this 1st day of June, 2025.

Signed,
DDC Presiding Official

DirtyDeckClub@gmail.com