Over a Decade in the Making: Mission Accomplished

Announcement: Our first Guest Post drops tomorrow. It's an eye opener!

I don’t know what Rusty’s up to—probably making some prison warden’s life hell—but that fool’s gonna lose his damn mind when he hears I finally got my hands on Issue Two of Gambit. Been hunting this thing down for over a decade. And if that wasn’t enough, my brown Crazy Horse leather Stealth Assassin also arrived today. Feels like Christmas, but for degenerates like me that only gets a present from his 3-year old daughter.

… feels real good to be me right now...

Not gonna sugarcoat it, though.

People in the magic community could have days like this way more often if half these fools weren’t so busy being stuck-on-stupid. Or better yet — if they weren't too busy stroking their own dick to realize that if they shared the lube, everybody would get their nut a lot quicker.

Oh, wait.

People don't masturbate. I shouldn't speak like that.

Still, I don’t say it lightly.

Five solid friends who own magic shops keep my drive alive. Three of them are straight-up road dogs. The other two? On some real gangsta shit — the type that’d knock the whole magic community over if it meant saving my ass. And I’d do the same for them.

I started hunting for Issue Two over a decade ago. It was all hands on deck. I ride with the same five magic shop owners I’ve known for most of my professional career. None of us are in it for the money, so it works for everyone.

And it was right around that time we all noticed the same thing: magicians can help you… but most of them make a conscious decision not to. Or, they help you with an ulterior motive.

That’s when we started a group chat dedicated to the never-ending fuckery of the magic community. The amount of screenshots the shop owners were sharing with me of people being straight-up assholes was so ridiculous that we have a separate group chat solely to share the screenshots.

It’s been a goldmine of stupidity for many years.

The different ways the magic world has found to say, "Yeah, I could help… but I think I’m better than you, so fuck off," is honestly impressive. Real creativity at work. My boys in the group chat? Gems. They stomach it way better than I do.

You got guys like Andy G. who actually give you a straight down-to-Earth answer—legit trying to help. And then you got these other clowns who’ve mastered the art of their "[imagine total bullshit here], but good luck on your search!" response so well, they're too busy being dickwads to notice their balls will shrink every time they do a good deed.

Their wife tried telling them, but they didn't listen.

We see you guys out there.

Well, thanks to our WhatsApp group, the hunt for Issue Two of Gambit is officially over. But don’t worry—there are plenty more assholes to expose. And you better believe, if I ever end up on my deathbed with the clock running out, I’m dropping every screenshot.

The magic community’s clogged drain is gonna get a full-on, high-pressure flush.

Gig time. Gotta get going.