An Ode to Ernie: a response to an email

Hear ye, hear ye! Gather round, ye jesters and scribes of the magical realms!

Upon this day, the 27th of January, in the Year of 2025, let it be inscribed in the Magic Books of Mediocrity that a man, one whom we shall call Ernie, hath ascended beyond mortal bounds into the esteemed and unrivaled ranks of Detective in Chief of the DDC. A title so respected that it could only be bestowed upon one who, through tireless sleuthing and the intellectual finesse of a true academic, has dared to pierce the veil of the DDC's jealousy.